Troubling Toilet Tales

I've never really figured out why public toilets in America are designed like stalls. And what is it with the crack space on the door?

Maybe these are the reasons that they are called public restrooms. Because they offer no privacy.

However, it seems that the toilet stall design may be fueling the re-insurgence of cottaging.

Remember the infamous Senator Larry Craig public restroom incidence?

The republican Senator was arrested for lewd conduct after brushing his shoe against the shoe of an undercover police officer who was in an adjacent toilet stall. In addition, it is alleged that he tapped his foot and waved his hand under the toilet stall divider. And prior this, he supposedly peeped at the police officer through the crack of the toilet stall door.

So you can imagine my surprise after I came across the following graffiti on inside wall of a toilet stall in a public restroom.

Interestingly, Senator Larry Craig is said to have made the sexual advances towards the law enforcement officer at around 12:16 pm.

The said incident seems to have brought to light the bizarre going-ons in public restrooms.

In a bid to help others stay out of trouble, I have come up with following guidelines regarding the use of public restrooms in America.

- Keep away from public restrooms between 12 o'clock and 1 pm. High noon is the new full moon and there may be a correlation between high lunch time traffic and such deviant behaviour.

- Do not under any circumstance peep through the crack of the door to check if a toilet stall is vacant. If you are not sure that the toilet is occupied, try pushing the door.

- Do not call attention to yourself in public restrooms. Avoid chatting with strangers. Toilet seats should not be confused for bar stools.

- Unless you are on the road or are sick, avoid taking a dump in public restrooms.

- Never accompany your friend(s) to the restroom. And if you must go together, maintain silence as you go about your business.

- Avoid staring or looking at people in public restrooms. Look at the wall in-front when you are at the urinals.

- If there is someone in a toilet stall (opposite the mirrors), don't spend a lot of time at the mirror straightening your clothes. NEVER groom yourself or apply cologne while in a public restroom except when you are on the road.

PS. If you were intrigued by this post, you will probably want to read these other not so private toilet tales; Post-Card from America, Post-Card from Kenya and Restroom Attendant.